Pitches for Ironic Listicles:

  • Addictions that are problematic but don’t quite warrant rehab
  • Names of men who are more likely to go through a divorce
  • Tramp stamps that defy the patriarchy
  • DIY projects you can do with your sex toys
  • Halloween costumes that show you were raised in a shame based American religious tradition
  • Reviews of instruments my Asian mother made me try as a child
  • 7 ways I’ve dishonored her, my family, and my cow
  • Names for pet cows
  • Random estimations of each U.S. president’s stamina
  • Stage names for the Obama family
  • Memes that express condolences appropriately
  • Fan theories following the 44th season finale of “America”
  • Birthday gifts I’ll show polite gratitude towards but won’t love (it’s 11/29 btw)