There is a corner of the internet in which people post videos of themselves eating as many calories as they possibly can. They call it the 10,000 calorie challenge in which: one person stares through the camera to prove they eat 5 times the daily caloric amount recommended by some organization and I don’t know why this exists or why I know this exists, that one video alone has 11 million views but it looks like he’s watching me watch him and

 

When I was twelve I went to the grocery store with my mom and in the fluorescent lighting of the frozen food aisle emerged an old woman who came up to us and told us that we looked so much alike, I must’ve been an immaculate conception. The look in her eyes told me she believed it so much I was confused to have had my most religious experience next to the dairy section.

 

Head of lettuce ear of corn blood pudding hearts of palm elbow pasta kidney bean angel hair, something about religion and bread as body, I learned once that somewhere in Freud you can come to the conclusion that hunger is the prototype of all satisfaction because feeling satiated is only ever temporary. I’m not really interested in psychoanalysis but when I was asked where we turn to for instinctual gratification a computer seems like a weird answer.

 

There are 166 definitions for the word hunger in the oxford english dictionary. There are 166 calories in one tablespoon peanut butter and one medium apple. I wonder how many of them have to do with desire;

 

I found a list of “hunger related diseases” and it features Malnutrition. I didn’t know that it can also mean when the body has too many nutrients.

 

Official diagnosis: early satiety. What it is: a condition marked by feeling full after having eaten just a small amount of food. Really they should call it hunger that doesn’t come or maybe hunger that lasts- some things sound like a blessing but feel like a curse,

 

I took a class once about nature and every single book in the first section of the class taught us that bread was a poison, that the clearest way for men connected to nature to lose that connection was by turning wheat into bread. This wasn’t the first time food marked a transition from something sacred to something less.

 

Some definitions for the word feed: to furnish for consumption; to supply for maintenance or operation, as to a machine; to be nourished or gratified, subsist; a format that provides users with frequently updated content.

 

WFP says hunger kills more than AIDS, malaria, tuberculosis combined. I don’t know what WFP is but I do know that

 

There is a website titled “I am a Ghrelin Addict”. Ghrelin is a hunger hormone. Our body secretes it when we haven’t eaten. It makes you hungry but also, apparently, enhances learning and memory and increases our concentration of dopamine.

Empty productivity.

Hunger Anonymous.

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