we were lonielier in there

my father loved a thick thigh
my mother smashed both of hers
through a really pretty window
in the old meatpacking district
when there were squiggles of raw meat
vacuum sealed
I swear to god I squealed
when someone with my eyes
triple lutzed in the air
that beautiful leg
I swear I noticed that leg
they smeared the same glittery lotion I had
the main thing is:
stealing from bath and body works
is truly an art
if yr a white girl
if yr a white girl
anything goes
I noticed Kristy Yamaguchi was considered acceptable
Tonya Harding was not
Nancy Kerrigan was actually working class
but they suited her up in a Disney princess thingie
she drank Campbell’s chicken noodle soup
with a very shallow spoon
that too
is a white girl thing
the utter loneliness of the whole world as expressed
in the endless infinity of whatever
is just a girl thing I think
I haven’t met someone who was pro Betty
anti Veronica
or someone who thought
Archie was actually fuckable
I guess I knew you were an all lowercase kind of guy
someone who isn’t really into the spotlight
and by being against it
you know they gonna praise you
me too
I’ll have nothing but good things to say about you
on the ice and in the thin cold air
I keep giving good leg
imitating my heroes and liking them more and more
the older I get the more I’m never sad
I don’t think it’s just because I had a childhood
or because there was always someone around to love me
what I couldn’t get away from was a face that wasn’t loving
they said no to ice rinks
we watched lifetime movies that started with blood
“do you see who loved her? do you see who stopped her?”
what was there to see anyway
little girls waving hello and all the flags of all my countries
waving back
all of who live with heat
beaming, just beaming
you were supposed to reign not rain
now the thing is over
we have got to kill her
that’s us, not her
“She was a semi-celebrity who,
if she couldn’t skate,
probably would have been saying,
‘That’s $11.50 please. Pull up
to the window for your burger and fries.’”
well anyway
I honestly didn’t know any white girls
who hated each other
more than they hated me
that was how little I knew
stealing from bath and body works is an art
if you’re a white girl
most interesting people are anti Betty
pro Veronica
usually the ones on instagram
who say #squad
need to
the gangster we’re all looking for—
lay tay dm tway
try to move your tongue as long as your leg:
lay tee yim twee

leetle

in some old world
I- I- I- I always got my finger stuck
in the tiny one person pots
it was goopy and calming and obviously
flirtatious
not that ancient pain
doesn’t have its own erotica
come here baby, you say and stick yours
in my wet mouth and we are truly
making it
not that
it stopped hurting
bc of it

if nothing is insignificant
why doesn’t anyone do anything
and the best people still don’t
dance cuter than when they were kids
there’s a way of moving that indicates
no one has ever hurt you
and there’s a way of moving
that just reeks

well if you are going to love me
you are going to have to write me
in my baby language
my other tongue did not just develop
spontaneously—
it had to be nurtured
you know that
and anyway
you might be some kind of big baby
and yr goo goo is probably gonna hurt me

still there’s no question
I want this
& I want you

why meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
we moaned like a couple of patients
in the dead of the night
it is true we both lost respect
still
it is best to know you
best to not go back
best if you take off yr shirt
and show me yr chest
and I go wowowowowow
and you go wowowowowowow?
and I go ya wowowowowowowwww!
and we go crystal clear
falling crazily through